I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
