the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
