i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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