i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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