remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
