Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
