Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
