honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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