Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize