The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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