They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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