It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize