I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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