mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
