a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
