the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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