Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

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  (415): From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle. http://tfl.nu/bjh3
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (3071)
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  (619): View more from California

  i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

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  (619): i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"... http://tfl.nu/0of4
  Replies (113) Good night (6093) Bad night (1438)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.

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  (207): so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out. http://tfl.nu/wz4e
  Replies (16) Good night (4165) Bad night (1185)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.

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  (484): Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever. http://tfl.nu/sgnv
  Replies (9) Good night (4877) Bad night (945)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..

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  (704): She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number.. http://tfl.nu/ftuv
  Replies (15) Good night (4277) Bad night (1290)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

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  (908): I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/uegr
  Replies (11) Good night (5542) Bad night (1454)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

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  (407): Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season. http://tfl.nu/9ccu
  Replies (5) Good night (1577) Bad night (904)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

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  (403): Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks (1403): That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills http://tfl.nu/uobi
  Replies (2) Good night (1457) Bad night (669)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

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  (678): Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago. http://tfl.nu/b245
  Replies (13) Good night (1643) Bad night (783)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (2190) Bad night (565)
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  (909): View more from California

  Every concussion has its silver lining

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  (909): Every concussion has its silver lining http://tfl.nu/a47p
  Replies (8) Good night (1023) Bad night (770)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?

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  (262): the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here? http://tfl.nu/0zqj
  Replies (12) Good night (2196) Bad night (636)
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  (209): View more from California

  No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.

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  (209): No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you. http://tfl.nu/dxdf
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (1150)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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  (816): I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night. http://tfl.nu/an2g
  Replies (5) Good night (1201) Bad night (425)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.

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  (281): My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/vm7c
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (382)

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