are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Houston, we have a squirter
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.