you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
