i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.