Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass

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  (858): When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass http://tfl.nu/zzr1
  Replies (19) Good night (3413) Bad night (923)
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  (631): View more from New York

  New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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  (631): New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled. http://tfl.nu/1807
  Replies (164) Good night (9276) Bad night (1025)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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  (609): I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk. http://tfl.nu/79zz
  Replies (70) Good night (5752) Bad night (841)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

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  (317): I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking. http://tfl.nu/ymvd
  Replies (52) Good night (3958) Bad night (1091)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking

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  (401): I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking http://tfl.nu/g7j3
  Replies (11) Good night (4328) Bad night (1342)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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  (+44): listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all. http://tfl.nu/7xa1
  Replies (8) Good night (1282) Bad night (2801)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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  (586): We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds. http://tfl.nu/hj47
  Replies (9) Good night (1934) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.

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  (847): hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight. http://tfl.nu/ti0f
  Replies (2) Good night (2039) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I swear they were about to hook up!!

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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  (240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1936) Bad night (690)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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  (513): Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small http://tfl.nu/dnf0
  Replies (6) Good night (1290) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat

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  (310): This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat http://tfl.nu/hcj2
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"

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  (323): He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best" http://tfl.nu/tw6h
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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  (561): She thinks Jesus was an astronaut. http://tfl.nu/koey
  Replies (11) Good night (1031) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...

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  (469): I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom... http://tfl.nu/pwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (1232) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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  (615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (387)

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