You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize