whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
