Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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