I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
