You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
