i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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