My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
