im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Couch. On fire.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
