smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
