Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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