Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize