I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
