I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
