I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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