Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
