but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
they're like a gay fantastic four
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
