let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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