I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize