I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
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Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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