To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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