It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
