the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
