Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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