I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
