hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
