yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dear god my vagina.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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