$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
worst night to have a conscience
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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