I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
