i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We named our party play list daddy issues
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My ATM looks so different sober.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
