On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
