I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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