p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
