Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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