worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
