Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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