yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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