Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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