we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
