Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
