I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You ate ashes out of my bong
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
