O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
