Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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