i already hear my dad disowning me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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