hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
