oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
