Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
