If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
